Just a Little Patience (free fill transfer links)

Facepalm

OMG!!!!! I can’t… I just can’t!
I know we all gotta start somewhere and we aren’t all naturally techy, but when people can’t even operate their email… (Me seething with impatience.) I just wasted and hour and 30 minutes of my life trying to walk a client through “reply to my email with your menu file”.

“Slow down. Follow my instructions slowly. Do this with me.”

“I’m in reply and it says No Files Attached.”

“Follow my instructions slowly. One step at a time. Do this with me. Start in your inbox.”

“I’m in reply and it says No Files Attached.”

“Please click on your in box.”

“But I don’t know where to get the files. How do I get to desktop.”

“You don’t. Slow down. Follow my instructions slowly. One step at a time. Do this with me. Start in your inbox.”

“I’m in reply and it says No Files Attached.”

“Please click on your in box.”

“But….

“Put your 70 year old mom on the phone.”

I finally sent them a web link to WeTransfrer so I wouldn’t have to explain to them how email works. Seriously! Email. How can one not know how to email in this day and age? I could cut them some slack for not being a techy person… but they live on their Smart Phone! (Apparently that’s the new idiot box for this day and age.)

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“I’m hanging up now. Call me back in 15 minutes after you’ve sent the files via WeTransfer and we’ll talk.” There’s no way I was sitting on the phone holding their hand when they refuse to slow down and listen. The customer is always right but sometimes… It’s better to set the phone down then lose a customer due to impatience.

An hour and a half is what I’ve spent trying to walk them through the simple act of sending me a file. I finally gave up. “You know the guy who gave you those files on a memory stick? Send him an email…”

“I don’t have his email.”

“… Call him and have him email the files for your website to me.”

“But it could take up to 24 hours for him to get back.”

“As it is we’re not progressing. I need those files. Even 24 hours later is only a 5 minute interruption. Neither you nor I are driving 4 hours out of our way to hand deliver a memory stick.”

Every time I’m on the phone with the guys at GoDadddy (I know, supposedly an evil corp, but they get stuff done) I am truly impressed by their professionalism and patients. They must hear the exact same stupid issues every day and they never loose their cool. I’d so be fired by my 3rd help call.

Inevitably it all comes back to SEO:

“Will people find the website if they search for Italian restaurants in _______?”

“No. You told me this was a catering company. If you want me to put restaurant on there, that’ll help, but you still need to add her website to directories.”

“What if they search for best pizza?”

“No. No where on the site does it say best pizza. It’s just the menu and contact info. You still need to add her website to directories.

“What if they search for Italian dining?”

“No… again, you told me catering. The site won’t come up if they search for ‘shoemaker elves’ either. If you want specific keywords added to the page you’ll have to tell me what you think guests are looking for. Or better yet… describe your business so I know what it is you really do.